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Intolerable stupidity25 January 2007
I don't have much of a temper. Even when young and foolish, I lost my temper only a few times, usually over stupid things done by stupid people. Most of the time, people who irritate me, even a little, I avoid. I have no need to keep people who are the least annoying to me in my life. Life is too short to deal with dopes. That's a very helpful philosophy.
As far as it goes.
But it does have certain stops.
One is the fact that in the casinos of America, just like in most public schools in America, everyone has to deal with everyone else. Some well-known philosopher, whose name I have forgotten, once said, "Hell is other people." Well in the casinos, there is plenty of hell because there are plenty of people. The great unwashed meet the great washed, so to speak.
You can't escape them. No matter where you turn in the casinos, you will find people: big people, little people, fat people, skinny people, pretty people, ugly people, smart people and dumb people. You'll find people moaning and groaning, cheering and leering; happy and miserable. Indeed, if you went to public schools, you are probably very familiar with all the types of people you can meet in the casinos.
Some casino gambling writers sometimes wonder why so many casino gamblers make such horrendous bets. Why, they ask, do so many casino players play games and make wagers where the house has double-digit edges on them? This bizarre behavior confuses some gambling writers. They can't fathom how someone can contentedly or discontentedly lose bundles of money - and keep coming back to lose even more.
These gaming writers have forgotten their public school education, if they went to public school that is. In the real-world of the casino, just as in the real world of public education, most people are…how can I put this politely…most people are, uh, not as smart as you would hope.
When you were in high school, you probably looked around your school and said, "My god, most of the people in this building are really stupid." And most were. Oh, yes, there were several who were battling it out for the "dictorian" awards - valedictorian, salutatorian, and class speaker. But there were dozens, if not hundreds, who were in a life and death struggle for the most respected title - the DUMB-DICTORIAN! More people could compete for the stupidest kid in the school than could compete for the smartest kid.
Flash forward to the adult world and what happens? The dopes grow up. They don't get any smarter, although they do slow down a little bit as gravity and age have their chilling effects, but these dumb-dictorians, each and every one, remain hopelessly, uh, hopeless.
Now, if you are playing a slot or video poker machine, the only time you deal with these people is when they bump into you or hover over you wanting to snatch your machine. Sometimes you can smell some of them as they make their way past you in the slot aisles. But you usually don't interrelate. You are just aware they are around.
However, when you are playing the table games such as blackjack, craps, roulette or others, the dumb-dictorians make their presence known in many off-putting ways. They engage in dumb conversations; make awfully unfunny jokes; complain about their luck; tell boring stories about their children or grandchildren. And they usually play horribly.
If they play blackjack, they don't know basic strategy. They make odd moves because of their "feelings." If they play craps, they make lousy, high house-edge bets and they make those bets just as the shooter is about to release the dice - a real no-no that they do time and again even after being scolded time and again by the stick man. If they play roulette they bet too soon or too late and they mess up your bets with their bets.
In short, it's like being back in your high school English class!
Now, none of that bothers me much. I don't care how blackjack players play their hands and I know what bets I have going for me when I play roulette. In craps, I find it somewhat annoying to deal with the late bettors but even that doesn't get me steaming mad.
No sir. I have complete emotional control.
Except that last week, I lost it for one brief moment.
She was playing craps and making late bets. Each and every roll, she would throw out chips and sing out numbers in a nasally voice that had New Yawk written all over it. I was shooting now and I was taking my usual care with my dice sets and my throw. And she was throwing chips on the layout. They were hitting my hand; hitting my chips, and one hit me in the face. I contained myself.
However, on the 15th minute of what was looking like an epic roll for me, she threw out a bet that hit my dice in mid-air, resulting in the seven. I just took a deep breath and thought, "She is an idiot. Don't get angry."
Then she said to me, "You know that was a lousy roll. You had to seven out? I didn't win any money on it! Why don't you just pass the dice next time?"
I then turned to her and said something that was absolutely horrible. I said it in my best stage whisper voice. I'm glad my wife the beautiful A.P. was not at the table because she would have slapped me. There was a pause as everyone at the table assimilated what I said and then - several of the other players applauded! "You tell her, that stupid *#$@!!" shouted one player. "You took the words out of my mouth!" shouted another man.
That brief moment was like all the times you wanted to say something to your fellow students who were making it impossible for the teacher to teach. They didn't want to learn but you did. Except you held your tongue. Well, this time I didn't hold my tongue and, you know something, it felt great!
This article is provided by the Frank Scoblete Network. Melissa A. Kaplan is the network's managing editor. If you would like to use this article on your website, please contact Casino City Press, the exclusive web syndication outlet for the Frank Scoblete Network. To contact Frank, please e-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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