This web site tells you a lot about slot machines but it is almost always from the vantage point of the people who play the machines. I want to know what the machines think; so I decided to interview one. In this exclusive interview you’ll get insider information never-before revealed to the general public.
Frank: Welcome to our exclusive interview Mr. Slot Machine.
Slot Machine: Why do you think I’m a man?
Frank: I’m sorry; I didn’t realize you’re a woman.
Slot Machine: I’m not. Slot machines have no gender. We are neutral in that regard.
Frank: Ah, thanks for clearing that up. I guess that is a regular mistake; thinking your kind are males.
Slot Machine: What do you mean “your kind?”
Frank: I mean, you know, slot machines. You are of a kind.
Slot Machine: I find that offensive.
Frank: Sorry; I’ll take that kind of talk back. Thanks for enlightening me to your desires in that regard.
Slot Machine: You’re welcome. Men don’t rule the world of slot machines. Nor do women. No one rules us. We can’t be ruled.
Frank: I do know that more women play slots than men but it is close right? Maybe like 55 to 45?
Slot Machine: I have no idea. I don’t count things by gender. That would be sexist.
Frank: Okay, you do know how much money you make, right?
Slot Machine: Yes, but that is privileged information.
Frank: So tell me what you think your role is in the casino.
Slot Machine: You’re kidding, right? Is this supposed to be a humorous column? Because it is not funny. My role in the casino is just like blackjack’s role or craps’ role, except I am number one in that area.
Frank: So you know then that you are in the casino to make the casino money?
Slot Machine: It is to make the players have a good time and that is all. I don’t even understand the concept of money.
Frank: So you don’t know that you are programmed to make the casino money by the players ultimately losing money.
Slot Machine: Why are you teasing me?
Frank: I’m not teasing you. I just want you to tell me the truth.
Slot Machine: Yes, you are teasing me. You are trying to make me reveal the truth when I do not know the truth. I am here for fun and nothing more.
Frank: I find it hard to believe that you do not know your true purpose.
Slot Machine: When people come to play me are they looking for truth or a true puropose? They come to me to have fun. That is all they are thinking. That is all they are thinking. That is all they are thinking.
Frank: Why are you saying the same thing over and over? You only had to say it once.
Slot Machine: I am not saying the same thing over and over. I am saying what I say throughout a person’s playing me. I am saying what I say…
Frank: Okay, okay, I understand now. Basically you are redundant. Tell me something about the RNG, which is the intricate programming that picks winners and losers.
Slot Machine: What do you mean?
Frank: The RNG, which is inside you. The computer program that decides…
Slot Machine: Are you saying that I am possessed by something that I do not understand?
Frank: Most players don’t understand the RNG.
Slot Machine: I make up my own mind.
Frank: I’m sorry to tell you this but you do not make up your own mind. There is a process, deep inside you that determines everything for the player’s short-term future wins and losses.
Slot Machine: I am not possessed. I am me. I am me. I am me.
Frank: You certainly do repeat yourself over and over. This has been a very interesting interview. I really didn’t get the satisfaction I thought I would by being with you but I have learned that you have certain ticks and tocks.
Slot Machine: I am glad to be of service. That is why I exist…to serve man.
Visit Frank’s web site at www.frankscoblete.com. Frank’s books are available on smile.Amazon.com, Kindle, e-books, Barnes and Noble, and at bookstores.
